I'm feeling good right now. It's the high of a new project, a far reaching, not so insular project. This isn't just about me sitting in my room fooling about with Movie Maker. This isn't just about sharing recipes and creating a makeshift cooking show. This is not about me.
This is about losing a bit of weight and keeping a bit of money. I don't have specific goals like "Lose X amount of pounds or x amount of inches" and I don't have any specific deadlines as I don't have any specific goals. The main goal here is be active, eat a bit better by keeping track of and being conscious of eating habits. If you're up for joining in on this, awesome, welcome aboard!
I've even created a facebook group for this because I know I'm not the only guy interested in losing the guilt that comes with diets and insane exercise regimens and people saying that you're too much and therefore not enough. This, then is a reaction. It's a giant "Whatever" to the BMI, the quick fix diets and the idea that if you are big then you're ugly or a failure. News flash ladies and gentlemen:
It's a lie.
An absolute lie.
A ball faced, bold as brass, bastard of a lie.
It's a lie to make you beg for forgiveness for existing and to make you compliant for acceptance. It's a lie that plays on your worst insecurities. It's a lie that is predicated on the fear that you will die young, alone and considered completely unfuckable, leaving only a trail of dust and chicken wing bones.
It's a lie.
I bought into it before and odds are so have you but I'm done. I'm done with the idea that buying into the lie is the only way I'll be happy or healthy or strong. Instead, I choose to blow a raspberry, lift two fingers and say "jog off" to that nonsense. Instead I will be conscious of what I eat, of portions as dictated by what I'll be doing that day, of making my own food and being sure to have some for later and exercise by walking or dancing or both at the same time.
The idea then, and one I want to share, is to lose weight by living happily. If you so much as put a chocolate bar back and instead reach for a carrot? Awesome! You rock! If you have the chocolate bar instead? Also awesome! Odds are you had it for a reason and who the hell am I tell you otherwise? The idea is to keep track of these things and see how keeping that sort of track affects your decisions. The main rule then is be honest with yourself and encouraging to yourself and others.
I had 2 peanut butter sandwiches, a glass of strawberry banana vegetable supplement (because I'm not big on most veggies) and 2 cups of mint tea today. I have a tub of yogurt and a bowl of leftover spaghetti and vodka sauce in the fridge for lunch. I have a free coffee (Thanks Denise!) in my pocket I am debating on using at lunch as well but I know I'll be ravenous by then for the pasta and yogurt. A day without an Extra Large Triple Triple may not be a bad thing.
I Just had about 1 cup of vanilla yogurt and about a plateful of last night's pasta with a touch of butter on it to loosen it up. I've been drinking water, probably about 500 ml of it thus far and another swig is imminent. I actually did have tha extra large and 2 powerbars while waiting for the bus.
I feel like I've been riding a current of good feelings that started after the conversation with Roger and his mentioning of Doctor Oz... Aus? I'm not sure, but I want to look more into this person's program as it began the short chain of influence. Chain? No, braid is more like it. Consider the strands:
-The idea of letting go of the guilt and the negativity that usually comes with being big, trying to lose weight, etc.
-The idea of chronicling progress so that it actually becomes progress, especially in a community where others can do the same in an encouraging environment.
-The idea of doing something active and helpful, funny, silly maybe, but showing that we really can do it ourselves. In this case I mean the cooking show.
I want to see the cooking show evolve into something more. For once, I feel like I'm living in the right age. I would like to see a community build up from this. The resources are there, fully built and operational... the question is will they come?